Dancing with my Shadow Self




While most agree with Carl Jung’s idea that the Shadow Self is the part of ourselves that we wish to hide from—I would have to wholly disagree.

To me, my Shadow Self is the person I wish to become––if only I wasn’t facing a lifetime of conditioning telling me my worth is in my lightness.

My Shadow Self is nimble, contorting, effortlessly sensual, powerful, and cunning. She’s my inner temptress. She’s Kali, she’s Lilith, she’s Hekate. She’s my supreme darkness. She’s seductive and intoxicating. She demands full attention, takes space, is sacred—she is fully and wildly present.

I climb into her not to escape my reality, but to become more like my Self.

Meeting our shadow is exactly what it sounds like. It is deep, it is dark and it is uncomfortable. But it’s incredibly important.

A few months ago I was put in a situation that forced me to face her head on. I didn’t ask her to come out—but after a few hours of total presence with my body, she was quick to reveal herself.

That’s an important thing to remember, you can run from your shadow, but you cannot escape.

So you might as well ask her to dance.

Being present with your shadow is like holding up a mirror and witnessing your reflection blurt out all of your deepest trauma and insecurities.

You aren’t good enough. You aren’t pretty enough. You’re ugly. You’re dark. You’re distant. You’re wicked.

She demands that you are honest with yourself. She demands that you acknowledge that these parts of yourself exist. Like a zen meditation she asks you to let these thoughts have a voice and then let them pass through you.

She asks that you be neither a judge, jury, or prosecutor but instead a witness to your truth. To see her. To bring her to existence.

You don’t have to stay with your shadow forever, but if you invite her to dance just once in a while you’ll be surprised at how much truth and authenticity she reveals. How much rawness she invites into your life.

Dark and chaotic, writhing and shaking in pain and pleasure. Passionately honest. A dark, brutal force. The fiery Goddess manifested. Her hips swing powerfully. Her arms, long and boundless. Her legs take root and make home in the present moment.

She is dressed in black. Her lips are painted in dark lipstick. She smells of pomegranate. She is a scorpio. She is unafraid. Unapologetic. She owns her trauma, she transforms it. Like a tornado she spins and takes the rest of the room with her.

She is the creator and destroyer. Her dance commands the room. Her radiance manifests in her movements. She transcends Good vs Bad, Right vs Wrong.

She just is.

She is the darkness that gives depth to my lightness—and in opening myself to her mystery I become more Me.

Not quite a relationship blog, but kinda.



I’m not quite ready to let go of The Love Monster. 

I was just going through my old blog, The Love Monster, and I’m realizing how much I missed blogging. Having a “themed” blog makes writing seem harder to keep up with– and with the love monster, writing about sexuality, love, and relationships just came naturally.

Writing about magick and spirituality is something entirely different. Am I really equipped to give advice about spirit? About magick? The Goddess?

In reality though, spirituality, magic and relationships are deeply interconnected in my life. There’s no need to separate them, and this blog is a place where I can discuss both.

To me, being a witch is about both surrendering (to) and empowering yourself. Surrendering to death and the cyclical nature of existence, surrendering to your higher Self, to that voice of authenticity deep inside– while also becoming empowered enough to listen to and understand what you’re hearing. Learning how to use the tools of the universe to make real change in your life. To give your human experience real meaning.

This means a lot for all of my relationships, friendships and family included.

So, I suppose this is a re-introduction to my blog, Lipstick Witch. I haven’t entirely given up on my love monster side, and hope my readers (if there’s anyone actually out there) are excited to hear more of my voice.

If you have anything you’d like me to write about, feel free to leave a comment.


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